New New Me

On the outside I smile and act as if everything is okay. Nothing is ever okay in my life. It seems as if as soon as I turn over a new leaf, it gets crumbled by the ever changing seasons. No, I'm not depressed, that was so three years ago. No longer am I suicidal, it's gets boring after trying time after time and never succeeding. I am just me. Monique` "Capri" Young. I'm an Urban nerd, with a taste for forbidden fruit. Never did I like being the same, I am different.
By looking at me you would never guess that I carry a 3.7 GPA, or that I listen to every Genre of music (except Country), that carries a good beat. You'd never guess that I can dance just as good as any you've ever seen. Hmmph, a little weight never held me down. You wouldn't think that my heart is heavy, and I hate more then I love. That I like to see the world for what it is, but will also travel to my mind when things get to tough. I've never been one to open up, and express myself. I like to hold in my agressions, and keep it moving. Breaking down and crying doesn't solve any of my problems. So, why bother?

If I told you that I used to be addicted to any kind of pill that would numb me for a few hours, and put me to sleep...would you believe me? You wouldn't understand me if I told you I have so much anger in me that I could explode and blow up like the Twin towers. Infact, I think that I might be Bi-Polar. When I was about eleven a therapist told me I just had a lot of surpressed anger. he said I needed anger Management. I told him to manage a dick in his mouth. True, no lies.

I want to just be free of my old baggage. Shit, I'm just trying to be normal. I feel like a square, trying to focre myself inside of a circle at times. Its crazy, but I still try it. Normal, I never knew what that word was. Anywho, this is my life as I know it. The end of all my pain, and the beginning of everything that needs to be said. This is my life.....
Comment if you'd like. Don't worry, I can handle it....